I have been an exceptionally cranky creature of late. “Why?” you ask. Because I am roughly halfway through my Whole30.
For those of you who are wondering, the Whole30 is a diet that lasts (you guessed it) thirty days–though, for some, it becomes an obsession or, more politely, a lifestyle. On the plus side, it definitely delivers: after two weeks, my husband and I can both see visible results. On the downside…
Twenty One Things I’m Missing On The Whole30
- No Gluten (or Grains of Any Kind)
- Tortilla Chips
- Pasta. Macaroni and cheese, linguini with Alfredo, penne with meatballs… Spaghetti squash just isn’t the same.
- No Dairy
- CHEESE. CHEESE OF EVERY VARIETY.
- Proper cream in my coffee
- Pumpkin Spice Lattes are in season and I can’t have them! (White girl sigh)
- Zuppa Toscana (or any other potato soup like it)
- Iced Caramel Latte from Dunkin’ Donuts
- No Soy/MSG
- Daddy Chicken (Come to my house when this is over. I’ll make it for you. It’s glorious.)
- Chinese food
- No Legumes
- Peanut butter, I never knew how much I loved you until you were torn from me.
- No Sugar or Sweetener of Any Kind
- Honey in my tea (this has been a real problem for me)
- Really, chocolate of any kind
- Red Velvet Cake (there’s a Korean bakery up the street that makes one of these; it’s amazing)
- Donuts–specifically apple cider donuts
- Fall-themed baked goods
The goal of the Whole30 is for you to appreciate the real taste of food. Yay! It’s a great thing, really–but that doesn’t make it fun.
I know I’ll probably be happy when I look back at this. “You can do anything for thirty days,” and all that. And I’ll be relieved when I’m a few pounds thinner at the wedding and Halloween party we’re attending next month.
But, when you’re fifteen days in, thirty days doesn’t seem so short after all.