May the 4th Be With You

When I was twelve, my father realized that I had never seen the Star Wars movies. “That is positively un-American!” he exclaimed. “This has to be fixed!”

He went to Blockbuster (because Blockbuster was still a thing back then), picked up the five movies that were in circulation at that time, and made me watch them. In a row. Without stopping. We did it right, watching Episodes 5-7 before 1-2. I was in love. I didn’t like Episode 2; Anakin was creepy and unfaithful to the ways of the Jedi, and that bothered me (why would you get distracted from that by a girl?!). I also didn’t understand how he became Darth Vader, but that didn’t matter as much. I walked around in a Star Wars fog for days after that.

I didn’t interact with it again until college. Ryan and some friends were making a parody video for the annual Film Fest. I had, by now, admitted to myself that I liked him, but we weren’t really a “thing” yet. We’d gone on one date, during which he’d invited me to watch them film. I didn’t know that they were going to make me participate in the Cantina scene. I was not interested, but I wanted to impress Ryan. So it was that my hair can be seen poofing out from under a plastic Optimus Prime helmet in Star Wars: Abridged.

And so, for your enjoyment, may I present A Grover Studios Film– Star Wars: Abridged.

The video went on to win Best in Show and Best Collaboration, and Ryan was nominated for best actor as Luke Skywalker.

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